"Linda, I saw the way you handled Mrs. Dawson during this crisis. It really stinks." Giving effective feedback in coaching situations!

If, like me, you have ever said something without thinking first you will understand how important the thinking time and having a script can be.
Effective coaching feedback can be learned and taught. Here are some ways to approach effective feedback in a coaching or in any business situation that I have found very helpful.
This list is care of the University of Texas, Health Centre which once again proves that positive feedback and talk is good for your health.

1. Make your feedback specific as related to behavior.

Good:	"Henry, you have been 15 minutes late for the last three mornings. Please explain why."
Bad:	"Henry, you are lazy and have a poor attitude towards your job."

2. Consider your timing, either before the event in the form of advice, or immediately after it as positive feedback.

Good:	(advice) "Sally, I'd like to review the content of your presentation with you before your speech next week so you can really do a good job in front of the group."
Bad:	(criticism) "Sally, because you've done such a poor job in the past, I need to preview the speech you plan on giving next week."
Good:	(positive) "Sally, you did an outstanding job in organizing your presentation for the meeting. The speech was well-researched and logical."
Bad:	(positive but not specific) "Sally, good speech last week. Keep up the good work!"

3. Give the feedback in calm and unemotional language.

Good:	"Joe, I'm sure your progress will be much faster now that you are clear on how to use this new machinery."
Bad:	"Joe, isn't it about time you improved your production with this machine?"

4. Check to be sure clear communication has occurred.

Good:	"Mary, do you know the importance of recording all my phone messages? Can you explain it to me so I know you understand?"
Bad:	"Mary, I'm sure you got it all, huh?"

5. Focus on behavior the receiver can do something about.

Good:	"Sam, we would appreciate you keeping the team informed about the status of the project."
Bad:	"Sam, why don't you like to talk to other people?"

6. Use "I" statements as opposed to "you" statements to reduce defensiveness.

Good:	"Tim, when you play your radio in the work area, I lose my concentration. Would you mind turning it off during regular work hours?"
Bad:	"Tim, you are so inconsiderate of other people when you leave your radio on."

7. Define the impact on you, the unit, the team and the company.

Good:	"Sarah, when you don't get your report to me on time, I can't get my report to my boss on time. This slows up decisions about resources needed for next month."
Bad:	"Sarah, can't you ever get your reports to me on time?"

8. Solicit feedback rather than impose it.

Good:	"Linda, did you say you would like to learn how to handle your most difficult customers more effectively? Here are some things that have worked for me..."
Bad:	"Linda, I saw the way you handled Mrs. Dawson during this crisis. It really stinks." Thanks to: http://www.uth.tmc.edu/